Separation Anxiety

 

So my son has recently been showing some signs of separation anxiety...nothing major. He fusses a little when I leave the room and that's about it. But lately he has been physically CLINGING to my body! I finally got a picture of it yesterday to send Matt. I laugh every time I look at it, the look on his face is awesome :) 

Last night while giving him his last bottle before bed I was reflecting on my day and where I encountered Jesus when I was reminded of this picture. The Lord brought to mind the scene in the Garden of Gethsemane  when Jesus sweat great drops of blood, agonizing over his impending separation from the Father.

     The greatest separation anxiety.

 

     Thank you Lord that we as believers do not have to fear being separated from the Father.

 

Romans 8:39

"Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."



 

     That being said, I do on many occasions feel distant from God. Some days God seems to speak directly to my concerns and prayers, while on other days I don't hear Him at all. It's not that I'm not seeking Him. I am in prayer throughout the day and (try) to regularly read His word (although I fully recognize I need major improvement in this area). But some days all I get is silence. Last night God reminded me of a verse we looked at during Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) and spoke to me concerning this issue:

 

James 1:14

"But each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed."

 

     Temptation and sin drag me away from fellowship with the Father. When I feel distant from God I need to examine my life and confess my sins to my father (and to those whom I've sinned against). That takes work sometimes!There are times I honestly can't think of anything specific I've done wrong, but I know I sin daily and I want to be better about confessing them.

 

     I know this post kind of rambled on, so thank you to anyone who read through it all. I pray God uses my encounters with Him as an encouragement to you who may be reading.

 

     I'd like to end with the Lifehouse Skit that always inspires me. I'm sure most of you have seen it, but maybe some have not. It's just such a great reminder that God is waiting for us on the other side of our sin.

 

Making HIM known

Yesterday I was talking to Matt and he was telling me about new people he's been meeting. One of the first things I asked him was "Did you tell them about us? Do they know you have a wonderful wife and son?..." Something inside of me yearns for my husband to make us known. I don't want people thinking he's just a single guy going through the academy alone....I want them all to know he has a family who cares about him and miss him. I want them to know he misses us. That he loves us and we are on the forefront of his mind. I know this sounds ridiculous, do I really expect Matt to introduce himself this way:
 "Hi, I'm Matt. I have a wonderful wife and son in California and I miss them dearly..."

 First of all, Matt would never say "dearly" and second, that sounds a little crazy. Who really begins a conversation that way?? Of course they know he's married (wedding ring is dead giveaway). And as He gets to know people I'm sure He will tell them all about our sweet son. He will probably even show them all the cute pictures I've been sending :)

I was thinking about that this morning when I heard a still, small voice saying:
 "Do you talk about me? What about my Son? Does he come up in your conversations? It brings me great joy when you speak of your love for me you know."

Ouch. Touche Lord.

Hebrews 4:12
"For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart."

Today my God challenged me to make HIS name known. He wants people to know I am not going through life alone. I have a father in Heaven who cherishes me, I have Jesus who purifies my daily sins, and His Holy Spirit guiding me. He wants to be on the forefront of my mind.

So in case you don't already know me, and even if you do, allow me to introduce myself and the purpose of my blog...

"Hi, I'm Clarissa. Let me tell you about how great my God is..."

Rejoice Always.

October 4, 2011
I was just starting my third year of teaching. Matt was working with his dad as an electrician. Our dreams of having a child and Matt being a police officer were slipping away and we were trying to ACCEPT our lives as they were...

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
"Rejoice always. Pray continually. Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

I know I was not living up the  standard of God's word. I was not rejoicing- I was resigning. I was trying to accept life, accept that maybe this was God's will for me...

Spring 2011
Our church had a women's retreat which really spoke to many of our lovely ladies (see this and this blog post from friends who were in attendance with me). Here was the verse we clung to:

Ephesians 3:20-21
"Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen."

I was reminded that God's plans are better than my own. I had plans for my life that I thought were great, but God's plans are "exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think"...

October 4, 2012 (Today)
We now have a WONDERFUL baby boy and my husband is in training to be a police officer! Seems to be EXACTLY what we prayed for, right???
Almost.
Our son is a foster son. Not yet legally "ours".
Matt is a police officer...in North Dakota. I am still in California.

The difference now is that I am truly trying to live out 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. This blog is my humble attempt to give Him all the glory due to Him-- to rejoice always, pray without ceasing, and give thanks IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES because I know He is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that I ask or think. AMEN!